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The fifth age

January 20th 2012 22:15
Strength will be right and reverence will cease to be; and the wicked will hurt the worthy man, speaking false words against him, and will swear an oath upon them. Envy, foul-mouthed, delighting in evil, with scowling face, will go along with wretched men one and all.
-- Hesiod, Works and Days

“Iron Man” is not just a superhero who also starred in two pretty good console games and two terrible ones; it was also a way to play Magic. Since Magic doesn’t have saved games, detective vision, or any other ease-of-use mechanics that make your life easier, Iron Man games resorted to a rather crude method of ensuring commitment: if a card goes to a graveyard from anywhere, you must physically destroy it. Most players would tear them into two to six pieces, but I’ve also heard stories of people eating cards or lighting them on fire.


Watery Grave
Fact: when you play sealed with the Ravnica block, there’s almost always at least one foil dual land somewhere in one of the players’ pools.


I’m much too attached to my possessions to ever play an Iron Man game, and destroying what is essentially an eternal window into an imaginary realm feels very, very wrong, in the same way writing on the wall in a museum does. But I’m a little surprised it never caught on among a certain subset of player. It seems like it might overlap with the mentality that common cards that aren’t good in Standard (or Legacy, or limited, or whatever) are “junk” and “filler.” They basically throw away large parts of boosters anyway, abandoning them on tables or store counters after limited events. You also have the people who deride the Reserved List and the idea that cards should have collector’s value, describing the contents of the List as “just cardboard.”


Black Lotus
Just cardboard.


This may be getting close to the territory of reductio ad absurdum, but it seems like it’s only a very short step from saying Magic cards have no value outside of their gameplay value to playing Iron Man sealed deck. Yet when it comes time to put their money where their mouth is (in an indirect but literal sense), very few players are willing to follow through. Even the most ardent opponent of the Reserved List, the kind who uses adjectives from The Protocols of the Elders of Zion to describe collectors, balks at tearing a Magic card into pieces. This, more than anything, should convince collectors that their cause is just and must prevail.


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Never the twain shall meet

January 6th 2012 06:45
Those who know nothing of foreign languages know nothing of their own.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There are a number of things I’ll be interested to see regarding Planechase 2012. I’d like to see the new art and new cards promised. I’m hoping that Jund and Esper will get planes this time around. And I’m very curious about how well Night of the Ninja, one of the theme decks that goes with the new planes, will sell.

Why wouldn’t it sell well? After all, Japan is, in many ways, rehabilitated from the historical prejudices and stereotypes that Western cultures have held. The Nintendo Wii has sold more units than the other consoles of its generation. Even little things, like the popularity of karate as both a hobby and a cultural meme, suggest openness towards Asian culture.

Appearances can be deceiving. For every Otaku USA Magazine or superficially-researched book about Japanese management methods, there’s a sinister murmur about economic imperialism or ranting blog post referring to Champions of Kamigawa as the “ninja block.” Despite the rise of orientalist feelings in the 20th century, there remains significant distrust of outside cultural ideas and images, and affinity for Western ideas and images remains significantly higher among much of the population. (In addition to be a beautiful, engaging world-simulator, Skyrim also includes a modern-fantasy adaptation of the Norse myths of Ragnarok.)

There’s no reason, looking at the cards alone, that Champions of Kamigawa should have been unpopular (among forumites, at least; I have no data on how well it sold. If you do, please let me know). In tournament play, the five legendary dragons were powerhouses, as were Gifts Ungiven, Sensei’s Divining Top, Heartbeat of Spring, various of the green Spirits, various Samurai cards, Umezawa’s Stupid Goddamn Jitte, and a surprising number of Ninjas. In any other block, these (and probably some I missed) would have been recognized – the only difference here was that they used weird curved swords and some people had trouble pronouncing “Umezawa’s Jitte.”

Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni
The word Rat still looks weird on a type line without Ninja following it.


This lack of recognition (and its possible repeat in Planechase 2012) is unfortunate. Even if you think people should be interested in their own culture (and I generally do), it can be interesting once in a while to try something that references a different set of myths, or, in the case of the Kamigawa block, is a hybrid or adaptation of another culture to Western fantasy. We’ll probably never get a better one in Magic than Champions of Kamigawa. I wonder when we’ll realize that.


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A new leaf

December 22nd 2011 01:32
Observations not only disturb what is to be measured, they produce it.
-- Pascual Jordan

Most areas of gaming have what you might call “vintage enthusiasts.” There are still people playing Dungeons and Dragons with the first or second edition of the rules. For every obsolete video gaming system, there is a community devoted to its games (very devoted). As such, the Magic world’s obsession with the most recent of everything truly stands out.

Sure, we have formats like Vintage and Legacy and Commander and Modern that make use of older cards, but we don’t have a structured way of playing that truly appreciates older cards. We don’t have a movement whose goal is to explore and enjoy vintage Magic sets beyond the five to ten cards per set that were “pushed” for competitive constructed. This is, apparently, an inevitable consequence of structured ways of playing: they attract the competitive element (which overlaps largely, but not completely, with tournament players), who are driven to “solve” the format.

2012 is just around the corner, and I think it’s time for Magic to return to its roots. Not in the M10 sense, which Aaron Forsythe and friends hyped so greatly before distancing themselves from its principles in the next two core sets, but in terms of our relationship to the various expansion sets and to Wizards of the Coast itself. When you buy a product, you become its owner, and are legally and morally entitled to play with it however you want, not based on what the DCI says is legal or on what Luis Scott-Vargas says is good. This year, let’s all try to use the internet a little less and our own judgment a little more. Let’s try to pick cards based on what we like, not on the date printed on the bottom of the card or how many of them were counted in the last tournament. Let’s try to make Magic our game again, instead of someone else’s that we aspire to.

Happy holidays.

Yule Ooze
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Memory lane

December 11th 2011 00:47
You left heaven waiting down the Dixie road.
-- Lee Greenwood

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Hit the wall

December 2nd 2011 00:11
"People who complain about tourneyf#*s to me are like the f$%^ing idiots who want to play sports with their friends, but suck at it, so they bitch and complain until everyone takes it easy on them, so they can win without even putting in any practice or dedication."
-- Unspecified tourneyf^*, as quoted on Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Change of heart

November 25th 2011 06:27
"We really try to give you a big vast world to play in. Be who you want. Do what you want. We don't know what you are doing to do. We just want to give you a load of tools."
-- Todd Howard, executive producer of Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

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Blinded by the light

November 10th 2011 01:37
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
-- David Dinkins, former mayor of New York City

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Ebony and ivory

October 28th 2011 23:31
What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.
-- Thomas Paine

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Under the hood

October 17th 2011 06:13
"What is going on inside your head, Wayne? Bah! He's gone! Just a twisted shell of a man."
-- The Scarecrow, in Batman: Arkham Asylum

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Retrospectives, part 10: Time Spiral

October 10th 2011 23:55
Two and two are four. Sometimes, Winston. Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes they are all of them at once. You must try harder. It is not easy to become sane.
-- George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four

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